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where'd that trash can come from?
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this all happend on 10/28/10 and i didnt find out about it till the next day.  after school me and some buddies went to this drainage ditch with a full bottle of some cheap ass tequila and jim bean. i start the jim bean off first straight, take a swig and pass it some of my freinds after a full rotation they are like i need a chaser while i still drink straight. fast forward 30mins theres half a bottle of jim and still a full bottle of tequila which no one will touch and im feeling preaty good but keep going. i blink and its 2 hours later im sitting on a bed about to puke I stumble to the bathroom puke 3 times walk back in the room blink and wake up the next morning with a small trash can near me. so i ask my bud travis what the hell happend he starts out telling me how i almost fell down this STEEP dirt hill with a bunch of sharp things at the bottum then stumble my way up a small cement incline. then near a street i fall 4 feet away from a parked truck and try to use the truck as a stool and miss and after we get to his house i fall asleep with my head in a trash can snoring.



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3 Amigos
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So this was when I was 15. Me and 2 of my friends had a 2-6 of vodka adn we didnt drink that much then. We each had our own mixed drink with pop and juice or whatever and then added lots of vodka to mine and my friend lizzies drink. so after drinking a bit we walked to macs which is like 3 blocks away and bought tons of candy.When we got back I chugged the rest of my drink and made another one ( these were in water bottles btw) and started drinking that. We were watching bruno and i dont remember this but they say the part where the naked girl has like huge boobs they were like "that chick has huge tits" and i said "where?! i see nothing!!" and they said " damn they take up the whole screen" and i still couldnt see them. before bed they tried giving me water which i dumped on myself and candy which i spat all over my friends bed and room. Lovely being a teenager isnt it?



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What The Hell??
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Me and My friend jennifer went to my friends house and there was only 7 people there but about 6 of the 7 people was walking around drunk butt naked!(Jennifer stayed sober) Any ways to make a long story short Me Justin and Brandon had a three sum. In the middle of the three sum we were doin doggie on a chair and I fell off the chair FLAT on my face.
  Later when me and Jennifer went home she asked me "Does It normaly feel weird after you have sex" I had no idea what she was talking about. Any ways that next morining she was going to the bathroom and all i heard was "WHAT THE HELL!?!?" hahah she found a used comdom in her Pussy Plus she was the only sober one there!!

 

 



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drunken concert sex
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One day myself and some buddies decided to go to the state fair, ride some rides, hit on some ladies. All day of attempting to score with that perfect 10, didnt happen. we decided to throw a party at my place, at 2pm on a thursday. We werent expecting much of a turn out, but about 50 people and 2 police visits later, we shut it down. clock now strikes 6pm. Gary allen concert at the fair started at 7pm. we decided to go. note by the time i had about 12 bottles of liquid courage in me. get to the concert and i see this pretty mid 20's girl in the front row. i show her the best dance moves ever displayed in a montana state fair. clock strikes 8pm, she digs me. about another hour passes and next thing i know we are stumbling out to her car, i have no idea where mine in. her in the drivers seat, me in the passenger seat we start to make out. i see this heading in the right direction. next thing i know she tells me to follow her to the back seat, she goes first, i follow.  also note she was parked on a rather steep incline with nothing behind her but an empty cop car, and a tree. in my rush to the back see my left foot gets caught on the shifter of her 6 speed manual chevy cobalt. next thing i know im tangled up in this car rolling down a hill, backwards, straight towards the cop car, and tree. i made a dive for the brake peddle but miss. all i hear is the crunch of 2 cars crashing into each other. i work my way out of the wreckage only to find totalled cobalt backed into an also totalled cop car. stunned by the madness of what just happened and not know what to do, i ran away, back into the concert like nothing happened. i never did see her again



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the not so regretable makeout story
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i was 18 when i moved into a house with 2 of my guy friends. we used to have these huge ass parties and it was awesome... well one night i decided to party at a friends house and drank 2 shots of absinthe along with many many shots of some butterscotch shit that i wasnt too sure about, i think i was to the point of talking about life and religion and hippie-ness with my "new best friend", who i just met. i was too drunk to drive obviously, and i called my roomie, chris, and his girlfriend to come and get me. on the way home i decided it would be a wonderful idea to tackle our other roomate,jt, when we got there. so i did. we wound up breaking almost everything in the house falling all over the place making out. i think i hit my head at least 12 times on the wall and the doorknob. but the good news is, we've been together ever since that night and we're now engaged with a baby girl.

 



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